The home of UK weddings

05 May 2014

What is in a Proposal?

Last week I wrote about how the essence of love and romance could be found in the simplest and sweetest of gestures, well I have a real life example of this to illustrate.

There’s a man – let’s call him Jim – who proposed to his now-wife, on the phone. In casual conversation. Romantic? Honestly – no. But I think what follows beats Kimye, Tom-Kat and every other extravagant proposal known to mankind in the romance department. He flew all the way to Jamaica, where his bride-to-be’s father lived to ask him for her hand in marriage. What I think is so romantic here is the respect he clearly held for his wife-to-be and her family, which means so much more than organising a flash-mob or trip to the Eiffel Tower when proposing to one’s partner.

Sure, with a little bit of an imagination and money anyone can organise an ostentatious proposal that wouldn’t seem out of place on Made in Chelsea. But how many men would fly half way around the world to ask a question? One completely and utterly in love, the type of love that transcends candles and rose petals and Tiffany rings.

Another example of a proposal that didn’t include fireworks and elephants à la Katy Perry and Russell Brand. This woman, we’ll call her Amy, got proposed to at home, after a little argument. Romantic? Not exactly. But here’s the thing, when you’re having an argument with someone, no matter how much you love them, that love often gets a little superseded with other emotions – annoyance, anger, upset. In this case this man loved this woman so much that in a moment that was not  metaphorically filled with rainbows and unicorns all he wanted to do was affirm his desire to spend the rest of his life with her. To me that’s love and the fact that this couple are very much still together and in love five years later whilst Katy and Russell’s marriage lasted two years may suggest elephants and fireworks aren’t necessarily a pre-requisite to a happy, loving, lasting marriage.

Sure, a proposal in Venice at the Bridge of Sighs is no doubt romantic and being proposed to in a hot air balloon as the sun rose and painted the sky a myriad of pinks and reds would be a fabulous story to tell everyone you know and a lot of girls would love to show off a sparkling Tiffany ring. In reality none of those things demonstrate love or respect, much less equal real, lasting, love. Having it all is fantastic, but having the love that’ll endure beyond the hundredth time one tells their fabulous proposal story is surely romance enough. Just ask George Clooney.

Image: The Heart Bandits

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