The home of UK weddings

17 June 2014

To Ask or not to Ask

To ask or not to ask? When it comes to proposing that is the question – not whether to pop the question itself but whether a man should ask his (hopefully) future father in law before asking the woman in question.

Women are no longer seen as ‘possessions’ to be passed from father to husband, the ideology at the root of the existence of ‘asking the father for his daughter’s hand’. However can this tradition still be applied to modern scenarios without a touch of misogynistic or antiquated? I think it absolutely can.

There generally tends to be the argument that this tradition intentionally or unintentionally connotes that the women is not free to make up her own mind, on the flipside there’s the argument for that asking for the woman’s hand shows respect for both her and her family.

Personally I think it’s about the mind-set, is the man asking for permission or blessing? There’s definitely a slight difference between the two. If a man asks for permission is he unknowingly suggesting that the woman in question cannot make up her own mind? I think that is where the line is. Asking the other most important man in the life of the woman you hope will become your wife for his blessing definitely shows a great deal of respect and acknowledgement of the fact that there is someone who loves her as much as you do. What’s more is it takes a lot of courage for a man to ask his potentially-future father in law for his blessing to ask his daughter to marry him, definitely an attractive quality.

I also think there is scope to not only ask for the father’s blessing but also the mother’s. After all, she loves and wants what is best for her daughter as much the father in question.

There’s currently a great deal of media attention focused on the fact that the mother’s name is currently not on marriage certificates and mounting pressure on the Home Office to change this. Those sentiments could also be applied to the case of asking the parents of the woman you wish to marry for their blessing.

What do you think? Should a man consult the parents of his beloved before proposing? Or is this an antiquated tradition that should not have a place in 21st century romance? Leave a comment and let us know!

Image: Wedding Republic

Share on:

Let us know what you think

These may also be of interest

Amal Clooney and feminism

There have been two major celebrity weddings recently. George and Amal and Brad and Angelina. The major difference? The name the newly married bride decided to take (or not to). While, Angelina kept her ‘Jolie’ in favour of Brad’s &ls...

Should you re-wear a dress for your wedding?

After stunning in a breathtakingly divine Oscar de la Renta gown for her Venice wedding to George Clooney, this weekend Amal carried off a gold sequined strapless Donna Karan for a UK wedding reception. The issue? She wore this same gown to a movie pre...

Wedding etiquette 101

When it comes to navigating the minefield of wedding etiquette things can get just a little confusing. Below we answer some of brides’ and grooms’ common concerns. Let us know of any questions you may have by leaving us a comment and we&rsq...

Diary of a Bride-to-be: The Nightmare of Discovering My Dad Has Written a Speech

I went to visit my dad over the weekend and we shot the breeze over a few beers. He’s often teased that he’s had his wedding speech planned out for years, but this weekend I discovered the dreaded father-of-the-bride speech has been written...

5 Wedding Towers for Traditional Cake Haters

Wedding cake as we know it is such a huge tradition, yet many of us would often prefer a different sweet treat when faced with a fruit cake covered in royal icing. If you are thinking about ditching the traditional wedding cake in favour of another swe...

Get access to MyRok where you can store all your wedding searches
+ Receive our eNewsletter for the latest news & special offers