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11 February 2014

Diary of a Bride-to-be: Braving My First Wedding Fayre

I’d been scouring the net for a while looking at possible venues for the wedding and came across one that boasted a converted barn. It turned out they were holding a wedding fayre the weekend just gone. Now, if you’ve read my previous posts you’ll perhaps understand that unlike other brides-to-be I’ve met, the idea of going to a wedding fayre wasn’t my idea of a fun day out and more of a practical necessity. Nevertheless off we went with my mum and step-dad in tow to see the real difference between something like this and a DIY village hall jobby.

Stilts and Wigs

Upon pulling up outside the venue we were greeted by two men, one on stilts and one not (both or neither guys, come on now, commit to the act). Both were wearing wigs which it transpired, they would change after every “comical” song they would sing. I looked at Jon and he was visibly wincing at the performers. “No stilts” he said under his breath, and I nodded knowingly. Agreed Jon, no stilts.

Meeting the Overzealous Staff

Having been made to queue in the rain to get into the venue I was pretty disgruntled by the time we got to the front of the queue. Jo met us (she told me her name was Jo, she told me her name was Jo quite a lot actually) and she asked me very cheerily “so when are you getting married”? I replied quick as a flash that I had no clue and she seemed totally gobsmacked that we had no date in mind. After taking a few more details (I think I may have given my bank details at some point) she stood back and let us all enter the barn.

I Think I’ll Grow My Own Bouquet

We milled about feigning interest in the various stands of cake pops and bespoke wedding invitations and then made our way over to the florist stand. They invited me to hold a bouquet, which I did as I didn’t want to be rude. Mum cried instantly (a theme of the day it would transpire) and I thought actually, bar a weeping mother, this is pretty nice. Back to reality in a flash as I was handed a price list and the bouquets started from an eye-watering figure. I put it back and decided I’ll just grow my own arrangement in the garden beforehand. Of course, I can’t grow a flippin’ fingernail successfully so that’s out of the question, unless you can have a bouquet made of cacti as I hear they are pretty easy to keep in the land of the living. Cactus bouquet, new trend?

Falling in Love with a Potentially Pricey Venue

I found the only stand I was really interested in, the one which actually provides information on the venue itself and sought out a very young looking girl. She was pumped up on wedding excitement too, telling me her name was Charl and it was her duty to make my day the best ever. I thought about telling her that what would really make my day would be for her to never refer to herself as Charl again, as her name is clearly Charlotte. I resisted, I’m only secretly rude and judgemental, not outwardly.

Anyway, me and ole’ Charl went off for a tour of the property which I must admit was so unusual and quirky I really did love it. She showed me the bridal suite and then we talked numbers. Well I talked numbers; she jotted numbers down and said she’d email me a quote which I’ve not had through yet. I’m not optimistic this is going to fall within budget but worth knowing how off the mark we are ey?

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